Gossip Girl

Applause to the Gossip Girl writers: Snappy lines are the main reason we tune in each week, and Season 5, Episode 16: “Cross Rhodes” did not disappoint. Keep the Bassness coming!

9. Blair (Leighton Meester): If she ever had to kiss him, it would be perfunctory — like shaking someone’s hand, or petting a dog.

8. Blair (to Lola):I thought this theatre company was professional! Have you never heard of research? Log on and learn everything you need to know about me stat.

7. Chuck (Ed Westwick): I’m not interested in mooning over the woman who broke my heart. I’m a sadist, not a masochist.

6. Serena (Blake Lively) (to Blair): Oh so that’s your excuse? Multiple Personality Disorder? Or did an alien take over your body?

5. Blair: You know, that headband is giving me Hilary Clinton flashbacks. The bad kind.

4. Blair: What do you want me to do? Self-flagellate? Wear a hair shit?
Serena: Listen, if your referring to the hideous vest you wore yesterday, I’m the only one that suffered because i had to look at it.

3. Blair: Humphrey, these pathetic people are playing us? I mean, really. They look like they work in a thrift store.

2. Conner: Just be a good sport and get ready to be mocked.
Dan: Well, that’s my entire life, so i think i can manage that.

1. Blair (to Serena about Dan): I’ll point out the sadness of his hair, clothing, and Brooklyn roots, and he will decry my constructive criticism as snobbery. We’ll share our views on recent French cinema. And there will BE NO KISSING.

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